Instructions
Tattoo before care
To make sure your skin is in the best condition for a tiny needle and some ink to be repeatedly stabbed into it over and over again, you'll need to do some prep. Keep the area where you want your tattoo clean and slather it in moisturiser – ideally, just another tattoo butter™️ and make sure you drink lots of water, so your skin isn't like a pork scratching.
On the day of your tattoo, you can skip the moisturiser, unless you're happy for the stencil to slide around at random as the tattoo artist works on your design.
Tattoo aftercare
That dressing isn’t put on your tattoo for fun – it keeps dirt and germs off your shiny new ink. So no matter how bad you smell, don't shower for at least three hours after leaving the studio. At this stage, your new piece is an open wound, and while it’s a good-looking wound, it will continue to seep bodily fluids for at least three hours and during this time you need to protect it like it's the world’s cutest, tiniest kitten.
When you take off the dressing be a big brave bunny and peel it carefully – don't soak it in the bath unless you particularly want to damage the design. Once the dressing has been taken off, your still-healing flesh will become a magnet to dirt and germs, and if you want to avoid turning your work of art into something that only a doctor would enjoy, make sure it's kept clean.
During the first three days after your tattoo, use unperfumed soap to clean it – step away from the loofah or flannel and just use your hand. Make sure you get rid of any gross gunky stuff to prevent scabbing, no matter how much it stings, to try and clean it off. Once you've finished, pat it dry with kitchen roll – yes, it has to be kitchen roll – bog roll or towels will leave bits of fluffy crud in it. Alternatively, just let it air dry and keep the hell away from anything that'll leave hair, fluff, glitter or anything else on the tattoo.
Once it's all dried off, wrap it up with cling-film – clean cling-film, genius – tight enough to keep it clean, but not so tight that your skin can't breathe and bits of your body start dropping off.
You'll need to go through all that palaver twice a day for 48 hours, but it'll all be worth it.
On the morning of day three, you should have stopped gently oozing. Clean it using your fingertips and soap, but you can put the cling-film back in the cupboard – you're done with it for now. Instead, slap on a healthy layer of a barrier cream – a good quality cocoa butter will do nicely, as well as smelling like chocolate.
For the next 11 days clean the tattoo twice and day and smear on the cream – although if it's still dry or itchy you can add the cream up to four times a day.
For the 14-ish days while it's healing up, make sure you're wearing loose clothing (or shoes) that won't rub or irritate your newly decorated skin – think flowing, baggy clothes instead of leggings, skinnies or anything with 'slim fit' in the label.
Follow these steps, and you should be golden, but if you do start to develop any signs of infection, see your doctor straight away. And don't sue us.
